5. “Mother” – Danzig
Best hard-rock song of the 80’s bar none and also the best song named “Mother”. John Lennon and Pink Floyd’s respective songs are too inward and depressing. On his “Mother” Glen Danzig warns parents not to listen to his words, or follow him. And he’s right too. Because if you find hell with him, he’s gonna show you til your bleeding! Scary stuff. All of this would mean absolutely nothing if the music didn’t come across as a song Satan himself could have wrote. Hide your kids.
4. “Take on Me” – A-ha
Eat your heart out, “Baba O’Riley” this is synthesizer perfection right here. The song is also memorable for its iconic video with its sketches that come to life. However, one should not cross out the cleverness of its lyrics either: “I’m coming for your love, ok?” and “Take on me” becomes “Take me on” during the chorus. Classy. Also, look for Patrick Carney of the Black Keys in the video around the 2:00 minute mark.
3. “Dangerzone” – Kenny Loggins
Does any other movie capture the spirit of the 80s more than Top Gun? And as a bonus you get Kenny Loggin’s masterpiece, “Dangerzone”. The real genius of the lyrics comes from the double meaning of the lyrics. It could be about lift-off in a plane, or about a sexual encounter, or both. Who cares? Lift-off achieved.
2. “Whip It” – Devo
The lyrics of the catchiest song about masturbation/S&M are just icing on the cake. What really makes the song is the keyboard during the chorus. Has there ever been a more effective use of one note? Another iconic video, which has the band “playing” on the set of what looks like a photo-shoot for a Marlboro Man ad. Despite the use of the whip, in a real situation the man in the cowboy hat probably kicked Devo’s ass with their silly hats and keyboards. A victory for nerds!
1. “The Final Countdown” – Europe
The best intro to a song ever. Also worth noting the world’s best magician used this as his theme music.